Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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