His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
