hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
