Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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