Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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