I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
