woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
