Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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