we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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