Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
