He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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