At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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