Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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