who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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