Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It was confusing and full of hummus
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
