we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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