Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize