i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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