school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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