pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
