He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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