the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
