Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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