I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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