So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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