I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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