he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.