when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
