I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.