is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize