Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
