2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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