it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
