in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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