Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
