ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
