Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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