you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
