Swine flu is the new snow day.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
