The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
