my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just cropdusted the office
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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