I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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