I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm having to shit out rocks
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