6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
