OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
