We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
