It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
