dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
