Don't EVER smell your tampon
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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