The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
