so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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