she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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