Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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