He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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