Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
