well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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