y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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