it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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