Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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