I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
