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I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
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