Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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