guess who came home with a hottie last night
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.