well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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