She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Mom said you looked used
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
