There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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